COKE STROKE

Something weird happened to me on Saturday night/Sunday morning. I went to my oldest friends birthday party at his house on Saturday night, and it was just...strange. I walked in to someone cutting up coke on the living room table. This boy already looked like a fucked up AIDS victim and the idea of him snorting coke did him no favours in my mind. Then I went downstairs and everyone was off their face on pills. AT A HOUSE PARTY WITH ABOUT 20 PEOPLE!!



It was weird. I'm not talking about those "trendy wannabe popstar" girls either, but the ugliest bunch of losers you will ever see. The type of people who come to London because they think they are "alternative" and get a job in a corporate bar for the rest of their life. There were some crazy short foreign girls and a fat girl dressed as a human Christmas tree and.....argggggghhhh....it was so hideous I wanted to cry!! All of em on chemical drugs....I just sat upstairs in the bedroom for most of the night and eventually went to bed...

THEN....going home the next morning, I'd done a little bit of Xmas shopping for my little sisters and was waiting for my bus home. A guy got off the bus at my stop and was looking at me funny. He was small-ish, about 25 years old, with a 70s style sheepskin coat, black trousers and the most fucked up Adidas gazelles you have ever seen. He had curly black hair and wasn't ugly. A Shoreditch type. Anyway, he was looking at me funny so i looked away. I'm not about the aggro on a Sunday afternoon. He walked over to me and he stank so bad. He smelt like a homeless alcoholic dude, I had to look away. He said to me, "I'm trying to get back to Shoreditch" (SURPRISE, SUR-FUCKING-PRISE) so i was like giving him directions, he was going the wrong way etc...Then he goes "I like your outfit" I mumbled back "Thanks" I think he musta took that as his cue, because then he started talking a whole load of shit to me about how he had just come back from the pub (its was 4pm) and he had gone halves on a gram of coke with a girl and she had stole it all and how he wanted to beat the bitches face in but she got these two rugby dudes to throw him out of the pub. I said "Coke is NOT cool, go home" he actually said back to me "Yes it is". Then he goes on about my outfit some more, then starts teling me my eyes are beautiful etc, I was getting a bit freaked out. He said his name was Damien and that sometimes he djs at Koko club. He stank so bad. Then my bus came. "Are you on Myspace" he said. "NOOOOOO" I shouted back, and jumped on the bus. Now i wish i had his Myspace so i could post a picture of him here.

The moral of the story is this kids:

CLASS A DRUGS ARE NOT FUCKING COOL. I'm partial to the odd spliff, but if you cant get high off life then clearly something is wrong with you.